Sharing the story of a fellow sister queen & the importance of mental health to her.

Tell us a little bit about you & your journey with mental health? 

“My journey with mental health has had many ups and downs. After my great grandmother passed .. I remember telling myself I’d never be happy again.School seemed hard, friendships seemed hard, lots of things weren’t the same. “

Why do you believe it is important to use our voices to tell our stories? 

“I think people should be open about their situation as long as they are comfortable. Many people everyday struggle with horrible thoughts. Knowing they aren’t alone helps. EVERYLIFE matters! “

What are some tips you’d like to tell young girls that may not know how to handle their mental health struggles? 

“Some tips I’d give to others struggling. Is let family know and try to seek help. It seems hard to talk about it but it really will help. Another thing is don’t be ashamed you aren’t alone .”

Tell us about your platform!! 

“My platform is Mental health cause I as a individual has struggled with it. As a peer mentor I help younger kids and talk with them making sure they are ok. Trying as much as I can to support and let others know they are loved.”
- Haley ( @haleyh100 on Instagram) 

AAPI Heritage Month

Not only is it Mental Health Awareness Month, it is also AAPI Heritage Month! I had the honor of interviewing my best friend Kai to give you all a little insight on her life, family, and culture! It is extremely important to be educated on different cultures and how each individual may persevere things such as mental health. Kai and their family have always been amazing role models in my life, so it is my pleasure to offer kai this space to share a little of their story!! 

What does AAPI Heritage Month mean to you?

It’s a time where I can really appreciate the community, the art, and the food and everything. I love when AAPI creators are highlighted so I can support them even more. It’s also a time where people bring AAPI problems to the front of the table which I really appreciate. Every community has their own set of unique issues and challenges living in the US and I think it’s important to be able to have open discussions on everything so everyone can be safe and happy!

Who do you look up to in the AAPI community?

My family, Mama, GongGong, and all the Gagas. Ever since I was little, and certainly outside this month, I’ve always, always, looked up to my family. They mean the whole entire world to me and I aspire to be as driven and strong and successful because of them AND for them. They really are my rock and I don’t know what I’d do without them.

What would you like to highlight about your own heritage?

I would like to highlight the strong sense of community that I have because of my family. They always have this mentality of bringing everyone into the success and making sure no one gets left behind. Despite their jokes and bits, they really do care deeply and I have to credit that to growing up with them.

What’s it like being an Asian American in regards to art & growing up?

I definitely think my art is influenced by east-Asian and southeast-Asian iconography. Growing up I would visit Canal Street all the time since my grandma worked there, and I would go on holidays and to visit family.

Any advice for young Asian kids who may be experiencing bullying or mental health struggles?

I always think the answer lies in community. Having mental health struggles is not easy, but it does get easier as time passes. To my AAPI out there, your family cares, that’s why they push you. However, they probably don’t understand your situation, they only understand theirs. This world is always changing and there are now opportunities for success and happiness that aren’t simply just going to school and college and becoming whatever it is they want you to be.

Important links: 

Stop AAPI Hate

Asian Americans Advancing Justice

Asian Pacific Partners for Empowerment, Advocacy & Leadership (APPEAL)

National Asian Pacific American Women’s Forum

https://www.verywellmind.com/mental-health-resources-for-asian-pacific-islander-communities-5116843#:~:text=The%20National%20Asian%20American%20Pacific,Pacific%20Islanders%2C%20and%20Native%20Hawaiians.

Interview with Alex Faith Fordy

When I was fifteen I fell in love with a cartoon called Miraculous Ladybug. One of the very first fan accounts I ever followed was Alex’s! She is truly resilient, beautiful, and so kind. I had the honor of getting to interview her as part of my Mental Health Awareness Month posts!! If you don’t follow her already you totally should! Her Instagram handles are @alexdrienette & @alexfaithfordy 

My name is Alex, I’m 22 years old and I am currently working towards my acting career. I have been posting content on social media, more specifically for Miraculous Ladybug, for several years now. Starting with instagram and then TikTok as well.

I remember when I first made my instagram account. It’s 2016, I’m 15 years old and my friend and I had noticed how “popular” every account was because the show was so brand new… We gushed about the idea that we could reach 1,000 followers or more like all of them… Little did I know…Again, I was only 15. I had no experience with the feeling of popularity and suddenly, my account kept growing and growing and more people came to know my name. It was all happy and cheerful until I noticed a lot of negativity was coming my way. And I’m not sure if it was out of spite or envy, but it just kept on coming. I already had low self esteem as is, like any other teenager would. But this was just the beginning of something so terrible and harmful to my well-being. It effected me so greatly because it was very rare I’d experience any bullying. I almost didn’t consider it bullying, I genuinely just thought there was something wrong with me that I wasn’t seeing.  I had to see my face cropped onto these disgusting images and read all these messages about myself that made me truly believe that I was the issue, and that I deserved this. It lead me to a very dark and secluded place in my mind that ultimately changed so much in my life, not a good change. I started having panic attacks every night, but I would keep them to myself. But alongside those panic attacks, I couldn’t even sleep. I would twist and turn because my mind kept giving me all these bad ideas as to what they could do to me. And I had to be awake to see it. I convinced myself I wasn’t allowed to sleep because it’s better I see it first, rather wake up to it.  It stopped, but then started again with different people. I had some people with their usual mean messages, then I had people find my phone number and spam me with face times only to mock me when I would answer to ask them to stop, and then I also had one girl make my life miserable for a very long time.

It was like I couldn’t catch a break. And I constantly felt suffocated and overwhelmed. I used to tell myself every day that one day it will stop. That I could breathe again. And yes, we’ve reached that day. But the breathing is still laboured. I still have panic attacks when certain memories trigger my mind and I have scars on my body that won’t ever go away. But I just wanted to

be here. And my love for this show and the friends I have gained, kept me there. No matter how hard it got. Recovery is all still a work in progress, but it took a lot of deep breaths and fight in me to overcome what once caused me so much pain. To anyone who is struggling — Whether it be with mental health, bullying or unfortunately both. I know it’s scary. I know it’s overwhelming. And I know you feel out of control. But you deserve light and you deserve love. You can imagine yourself as a flower. One day you get stepped on, despite being so beautiful… but eventually. You’ll grow back. Maybe in a different way, more petals than before. But those petals are your story and your strength. Allow yourself to grow. Take deep breaths and connect with good people who will take care of you. Overall getting to speak up about mental health has been a pleasure for me to do, despite the meaning behind why I do. To give people a voice, one that I went so long without having… is a wonderful feeling. And I will continue to share my storie(s) if it means making someone else feel seen and heard. I will always advise people to share their own story. Everyone’s story matters. 

Though the anxiety is high, and the depression lingers… I am just so incredibly thankful for the good people in my life who got me through it all. So thank you.

———

Once again I’d love to thank Alex for sharing her story and being such a light in this world!! 

Five years

 This is never an easy post or easy statement to make. 

Five years, five years since my life changed drastically. Never actually taking the time to sit back and realize the damage it caused. If you didn’t know. March 22nd 2017, I was brutally attacked by my bully. She alongside others, harassed and threatened my family and I for months prior to the attack. In person, and online. I already at this time suffered severe anxiety & depression. Leaving my previous school due to bullying as well. Months before being trapped in a mental hospital for nine days and eight nights. My brother & sister both experiencing traumatic events within the same time line, effecting my family as well. I was 15. With what felt like the world on my shoulders. During this time, and this was a detail I left out for years. I was in an abusive relationship as well. Instead of receiving help I was made fun of and talked down upon for that. I didn’t matter in this world. Then it happened. My bully approached me asking me if she could vent to me about her own mental health issues. To which I agreed, because that’s who I am. Once she dropped the bomb of some pretty heavy stuff in the bathroom stall she lured me into, she asked for a hug. I hesitated, but gave in. Next thing I know she was choking me out, and that was the start of the fight of my life. She stabbed me, bit me, scratched, and threatened my life one final time when I convinced her to stop. She called the police on my phone, and caressed me until I was “saved”. At the hospital I was numb, all I could think about was my friends and not myself. Family visiting me that night, for an unknown reason my little cousin had a seizure in front of us all. Yet after all I went through that day, the only tears I shed were because of pickles on my burger. After this I stood with my abuser for awhile.

Adding more months to the trauma. I was diagnosed with ptsd. I couldn’t eat, sleep, use the bathroom. It also stunted my academics in the last years of high school. For some reason, the people in my highschool took this as a “fight over a boy”. Which caused me to get made fun of for the next years of high school as well. Using my trauma as a story to tell, a story that isn’t theirs. 

Now you’re probably wondering, well you’re twenty…why should this matter now? 

My answer to you is, you think my ptsd disappeared? That everything magically was okay. I was the same girl that could function normally? The answer is no. The truth is. I never processed my trauma, I never faced it head on. Sometimes due to trauma the brain will store it away, make you ignore it. 

My brain did that until I was no longer in that school. Now at twenty, everything’s been pouring out. It’s exhausting, painful, and I’m tired of running away. As an adult, I find myself not being able to do things most people my age can. You know what. That’s okay. Life wasn’t fair to me, it’s still not. However, everyday I take that challenge and try to better myself. I don’t know how long it’ll take me to feel better in regards to my trauma, so I take it day by day. 

I am safe. I am strong. I have a purpose in this life. 

I’ll continue using my voice, my story. To advocate for mental health, and bullying. Nobody can ever take that away from me. 

Interview on LGBTQ+ mental health and how it is handled in our society

 Hello everyone! As you know part of the Tia’s Racket platform is to boost and spread the voices of others. Today I wanted to write about the topic of mental health in the lgbtq+ community. I interviewed some wonderful individuals to get their different point of views on how lgbt mental health is handled in different aspects of life.

How do you think lgbtq mental health is handled in schools? 

I think that depending where you are, lgbtq mental health is handled fairly okay or it's just not handled at all. A lot of more progressive places will offer counseling for everyone, but most counselors who aren't lgbtq won't know how to handle certain issues. It leaves a lot of younger people feeling less comfortable to even seek counseling.

How do you think lgbtq mental health is handled by professionals? 

Mental health professionals can vary in quality, and the issues they specialize in. Lgbtq mental health issues are only handled better by actual lgbtq professionals/proper ally professionals. Other types of professionals can try to handle these issues, but the care won't feel as genuine or understood.

How do you think lgbtq mental health has been handled in your life?

I actually haven't sought out mental health care for most of my life, solely because I didn't know how, and I didn't have health insurance period. I feel like  adequate mental healthcare is largely inaccessible to lgbtq youth due to costs and location. If I had more resources when I was younger, I feel like maybe I would have been a healthier person today.

What changes do you think should be made? 

Changes would need to be drastic in a way that I dont think our current government/legislation has the courage to push through. We're talking stuff like complete universal healthcare access for everyone, regardless of income or background. Centers focused on mental health should be funded more and given more resources to improve lgbtq lives. There needs to be changes in the media showing lgbtq people, and until  more minds begin to change, the progress will be stagnant, if there's any at all.

• Vic (they/him)

How do you think lgbtq mental health is handled in schools? 

I honestly think mental health in school isn’t really handled well even when LGBTQ people aren’t involved, but it is especially worse in our case. I know so many who have been scared to seek help because they’re worried that seeking that help from the school will put them to their parents and compromise their safety. 

How do you think lgbtq mental health is handled by professionals? 

I think it is handled a little bit better, because there is often the option to search for mental health professionals who are LGBTQ friendly. HIPPA agreements definitely help as well. 

How do you think lgbtq mental health has been handled in your life?

Most of my mental health issues have not been related to my LGBTQ identity, so I’m not really sure I can speak on that. 

What changes do you think should be made? 

I really think school staff need more training on working with LGBTQ students and policies to keep queer kids protected and keep their privacy protected need to be enacted ASAP.

• Tabby (she/her) 

How do you think LGBT mental health is handled in schools?

    I think LGBT mental health is handled differently in every school. In a University that I attended my freshman year of college (one which I no longer attend) I noticed that the school did not have a large focus on just LGBT mental health but all mental health in general. This has its pros and cons. Pros being that there is a sense of unity in the fact that all students’ mental health matters and there are resources for everyone, however, the con is that LGBT mental health is different from those who are not part of the LGBT community. There are a lot more things that those who are part of this community deal with on an everyday basis that most people are unaware of. For example, people get misgendered, use the wrong pronouns without caring, and just are uniquely different from those around them. I believe that there should be more effort in understanding the LGBT community in schools as new things arise and things change over time. My University that I attend now shines a very bright light on addressing the resources to talk to someone or groups who can share their stories about what they deal with. There is a Center for Transgender and Queer Advocacy here at my new school that has provided a very long list of events and resources that those part of the LGBT community can use. The people who run this center are a part of the community as well, sharing their experience and always being open to listening to those who attend.

How do you think LGBT mental health has been handled in your life?

    In my life, my mental health has been handled quite well. I have many resources that I know I can reach out to and are reliable. My parents and family have always been very supportive of me and take the time to ask questions and understand certain things that may be new to them or the subjects they have never heard of! I think I have truly found better resources at my new school as well as finding the right group of people who are not only my close friends also part of the LGBT community but they can relate to some of my own stories. Over the years there have been many opportunities for me to see everyone in the world become more familiar and accepting of those parts of this community and truthfully, it is beautiful. I have found much support in those around me whether I know them personally or not. I continue to grow day by day into the person I am meant to be and find my true self.

What changes do you think should be made?

    There are so many changes that could be made but few that will actually happen. All we can do is hope for the best and hope that people put in the effort to want to see change; maybe even take matters into their own hands. A big thing I hope to see a lot of change over the years is understanding pronouns. I use she/they/theirs pronouns while most people are used to hearing she/her/hers or he/him/his. Because I present female to most people, they assume to use she/her/hers pronouns without asking. Although I give them the benefit of the doubt if I know I won’t have an encounter with them again (i.e. grocery store workers, people you run into on the street, or most store employees). Another thing I hope to actually see happening would be the education of the LGBT community in schools. Growing up I never learned about how normal it is for people to like the same gender or have different sexualities. I always was taught that it was only right and normal to like the opposite gender and knew nothing about sexualities. It is also important to learn things about the LGBT community in sex-education classes. I have even met some people who never took a sex-education course in high school which amazes me because it is so important to learn these things and be put into the world knowing the dangers and safety aspects of sex. Like I said earlier, there are so many changes that I believe could happen and we may even find new ones every day, but that is the beauty of the world. As the world changes, we must change with it.

• Carly (she/they) 

Brooklyn Smith’s Story

 Hey! My name is Brooklyn smith! I am 12 years old! About 3 years ago I was struggling to eat and was super super skinny I had just turned ten and I was 40 pounds which is the weight of a 5 year old. I saw many many doctors for 3 years and nobody knew what was going on. To the point were they had to admit me to the hospital to get a g-tube which goes in my stomach. When I first got there I got a nj tube which goes down your nose all the way to your stomach. Then a few days later I got the tube! When I got out I wouldn’t wake up I was extremely nauseous for hours after. To the point were emergency people had to come in and check on me. They rushed me back to the room and said I need emergency surgery. To have 2 surgeries in a matter of a few hours was EXTREMELY risky but we didn’t have much of a choice. After a couple hours I felt way better and I woke up. After I got MANY blood tests and we found out my cortisol doesn’t produce anything. We found out I had adrenal Insufficiency. My doctors said if I would have went one more week I probably wouldn’t of made it. Adrenal insufficiency basically is a life threatening condition which means we don’t know how long I will be present for. It could be a month or it could be years we have no idea. It means my cortisol produces nothing so I take medicine everyday to help. When I used to get a cold instead of it lasting a few days it would last a couple weeks because my cortisol wouldn’t fight off the cold. I have a very low immune system. So when I get sick it last way longer than most people. I have to carry a bag with me with my meds and emergency stuff in it everywhere I go. If I were to pass out I would have to get injected with my needle and medicine and go straight to the Emergency room. It is a very very hard thing to deal . I still deal with it to this day. I try to spread awareness and make everyday the best because I have no idea what tomorrow is going to look like.

Mental Health Within Men

 

Something I’ve noticed over the years is the difference between the way female and male mental health is treated. Both have their struggles but why is it that men are told to not show these emotions or they are not considered manly. Statistically men die by suicide 3.53x more often than woman. By suppressing such strong emotions that are tied to mental illnesses or even just the everyday sadness can lead to, pent up rage, abuse, and suicide. Part of what I aspire to do is change the stigma held with mental health, by doing so I feel it’s appropriate to discuss every aspect. In the rest of this post I interviewed my good friend David! 

What is your opinion on when you hear someone tell a child they can’t be upset and cry simply because they are a boy? 

It’s not only annoying to hear that from someone but it’s also frustrating and illogical. Emotions need to be expressed early in life in order for that child to develop particularly healthy associations with the expression of emotions. Telling a child to repress emotions simply because they’re a boy is constantly instilling the sociological structure we’re trying to destroy being unhealthy masculinity. Emotions are inevitable. Teach them early to be assertive healthily with expressing themselves. 

What is your advice for any guys out there who are afraid to show their true emotions? 

For the men that are afraid, it’s not your fault. Come to terms with oneself in order to express your vulnerability. Analyze why you feel ashamed of expressing or why you feel weird about it. Try to think to yourself “is this irrational to feel sad or angry about?” “Who or what made me think this way?” “Is this fair to me?” You are entitled to feeling, but it is of utmost importance to handle them with great care. Emotions are our body’s way of signaling us of something vitally useful, express them with care and diligence. 

Do you think showing our emotions as people have a big factor on who we are and what we are viewed as? 

Emotions are quintessential to human nature. Showing them more so; also has a big impact on the way people perceive us. We are very emotional beings whether we’d like to admit it or not. Think of the most emotional person you know compared to the least emotional person you know; though they have a particular difference in expression of feelings: they feel at the end of the day (the less emotional one can even feel more than the other). We develop persona’s and facades in hopes of being more likable. We put on a metaphorical mask to express things we don’t feel. We use our reserves of information to become more agreeable in situations because we’re so afraid of not being liked. We think “if I show that I feel this way, no one will like me” but this is a mere illusion and a false projection of what our experiences are saying about us (sociological factors or traumatic predispositions) Emotions can also reveal what is inside of us, therefore this can give you a bigger picture of why they “define” us. But this is not definite. It is in our nature to label and give definitions to things without our conscious knowledge or awareness of what the deeper meaning is. I think it is crucial to make known of what you are feeling and to know the other persons feelings to establish better understanding. Without understanding comes the ignorance being propagated to one another; this can cause anxiety and despair within the individuals. They can have a big meaning on why they define us if we let them. The eye of the beholder gives the meaning as it to what it says as the individual 

Tell me about yourself and your journey? 

As a young boy diagnosed with autism, I had an emotional gift. I had a great amount of emotional intellect, an intuition that couldn’t be mistaken, and a natural hunch for sizing people up. Though this was a gift it also felt like a curse. Absorbing emotional energies was my biggest challenges as it still is, as well not repressing myself emotionally as a man in society. I would cry and I’d get insulted hellaciously. I would get tears rushing down my face and I’d be interrogated on why I got so upset. I was misunderstood and I felt terribly because I couldn’t use a means of expression that would convert my emotions the right way. It took me years to understand that it’s okay to express sadness or any type of emotion that is negative. The key was to forgive myself and to forgive those who caused any type of resentment, anger, animosity, sadness, and other suppressed emotions. It’s a matter of self actualization really, knowing oneself is paramount in our human development as well as opening the door to understanding others. Emotions like many things in this complex life are not one dimensional and concrete. They are meant to be abstract and multifaceted because of our unique associations and experiences with them. Treat them as such.