Friday, January 22, 2021

Mental Health Within Men

 


Something I’ve noticed over the years is the difference between the way female and male mental health is treated. Both have their struggles but why is it that men are told to not show these emotions or they are not considered manly. Statistically men die by suicide 3.53x more often than woman. By suppressing such strong emotions that are tied to mental illnesses or even just the everyday sadness can lead to, pent up rage, abuse, and suicide. Part of what I aspire to do is change the stigma held with mental health, by doing so I feel it’s appropriate to discuss every aspect. In the rest of this post I interviewed my good friend David! 


What is your opinion on when you hear someone tell a child they can’t be upset and cry simply because they are a boy? 


It’s not only annoying to hear that from someone but it’s also frustrating and illogical. Emotions need to be expressed early in life in order for that child to develop particularly healthy associations with the expression of emotions. Telling a child to repress emotions simply because they’re a boy is constantly instilling the sociological structure we’re trying to destroy being unhealthy masculinity. Emotions are inevitable. Teach them early to be assertive healthily with expressing themselves. 


What is your advice for any guys out there who are afraid to show their true emotions? 


For the men that are afraid, it’s not your fault. Come to terms with oneself in order to express your vulnerability. Analyze why you feel ashamed of expressing or why you feel weird about it. Try to think to yourself “is this irrational to feel sad or angry about?” “Who or what made me think this way?” “Is this fair to me?” You are entitled to feeling, but it is of utmost importance to handle them with great care. Emotions are our body’s way of signaling us of something vitally useful, express them with care and diligence. 


Do you think showing our emotions as people have a big factor on who we are and what we are viewed as? 


Emotions are quintessential to human nature. Showing them more so; also has a big impact on the way people perceive us. We are very emotional beings whether we’d like to admit it or not. Think of the most emotional person you know compared to the least emotional person you know; though they have a particular difference in expression of feelings: they feel at the end of the day (the less emotional one can even feel more than the other). We develop persona’s and facades in hopes of being more likable. We put on a metaphorical mask to express things we don’t feel. We use our reserves of information to become more agreeable in situations because we’re so afraid of not being liked. We think “if I show that I feel this way, no one will like me” but this is a mere illusion and a false projection of what our experiences are saying about us (sociological factors or traumatic predispositions) Emotions can also reveal what is inside of us, therefore this can give you a bigger picture of why they “define” us. But this is not definite. It is in our nature to label and give definitions to things without our conscious knowledge or awareness of what the deeper meaning is. I think it is crucial to make known of what you are feeling and to know the other persons feelings to establish better understanding. Without understanding comes the ignorance being propagated to one another; this can cause anxiety and despair within the individuals. They can have a big meaning on why they define us if we let them. The eye of the beholder gives the meaning as it to what it says as the individual 


Tell me about yourself and your journey? 


As a young boy diagnosed with autism, I had an emotional gift. I had a great amount of emotional intellect, an intuition that couldn’t be mistaken, and a natural hunch for sizing people up. Though this was a gift it also felt like a curse. Absorbing emotional energies was my biggest challenges as it still is, as well not repressing myself emotionally as a man in society. I would cry and I’d get insulted hellaciously. I would get tears rushing down my face and I’d be interrogated on why I got so upset. I was misunderstood and I felt terribly because I couldn’t use a means of expression that would convert my emotions the right way. It took me years to understand that it’s okay to express sadness or any type of emotion that is negative. The key was to forgive myself and to forgive those who caused any type of resentment, anger, animosity, sadness, and other suppressed emotions. It’s a matter of self actualization really, knowing oneself is paramount in our human development as well as opening the door to understanding others. Emotions like many things in this complex life are not one dimensional and concrete. They are meant to be abstract and multifaceted because of our unique associations and experiences with them. Treat them as such. 

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