The reason why I wanted to create this is because, these serious issues go unspoken. I dont want them to because, they are extremely hard to deal with and make living life miserable.IT IS NOT A TREND AND AESTHETIC. So imagine that for me or even better, imagine it on kids younger than me. It exsists. In adults, teens, and children. I want to make it known, I want to make it known that it is ok and you're not alone.
So let me explain my story, theres not much to it but lets take a walk down Tia lane.
I've had it for pretty much my whole life, of course as a child its just not known yet. Around the ages of eleven and twelve my family and home life where far from picture perfect, it triggered something more than I could ever imagine. I kept my self isolated from pretty much everyone, I saw the internet as my escape, I was always on it. I had friends on there, my escape from everything bad. That all came crashing down soon as well, the era of the worst cyber bullying I can ever get. I was alone. I was only twelve. Eventually I turned Thirteen, then at that time my parents and I decided that i'd get therapy, then and there I was diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety. I was glad that I had known what was wrong with me and that I was getting help, but that darkness was much stronger than me. School was terrible, and my grades began to drop because my depression made me give up on everything. Eventually my friend life came crashing to pieces too. I was fourteen and I put one friend infront of everyone else, I lost so many amazing people as friends which made it worse. Little did I know the friend I put in front of everyone else was making me into a monster to others, everyone saw me as someone I was not, but this friend was facing her own battles. We worked things out, and we're bestfriends. But because of this I was bullied and standing up for myself wasnt enough. I left middle school and graduated to highschool, which was the best feeling I ever had.being fifteen now, I went to a school in a different town, and made friendships with old and new friends! I was overly happy everyday, I became more than my depression, I was very happy. Until around november, my sister was mugged at gunpoint, she was okay but it was just alarming. Seeing her in such a state, made me feel terrible. THEN. In december my brother got into a terrible accident, no one knew if he was going to be okay, I was really hurt and couldnt stand seeing him like that. He was okay, but emotionally I couldnt stand this. At the same time I was getting threats online, saying it should have been me in the accident, and saying they would burn my house down. Why? you ask. They didnt want me to be with someone I wasnt even with. I told my dad and he discussed that one day he will go to my school. When I finally went to school one of my friends told me that my other "friend" said I was lucky I didnt go to school the previous day because she wouldve hurt me. I was mortified, and I was already upset because she used to go around hurting my friends for no reason. I decided enough was enough, I went to guidance and they told me I had no proof of this girl sending me messages or hurting my friends. Shortly after my dad came to school, and they said they will handle the situation. They didnt. A few days later she came up to me asking me to leave the guy alone, but I refused because hes my bestfriend. She started beating me up out of the blue, and I cut my bottom lip, I immediately bursted into tears, and my bestfriend (the guy) took me away from her and was extremely angry. Then she said it was a mistake, which it wasnt. After that the messages stopped. THEN. march twenty second happned. I woke up feeling a bit odd but, I still went to school anyways. It was every other day, until I got to school, I walked in through the doors and she came right up to me. which was odd because she always said hello to me last, she told me she wanted to speak to me. Then she pulled me along to the bathroom, she went on and on about how shes nervous about moving schools and her family life. I felt bad and I knew I needed to help her and give her advice, so I stood. Eventually the bell rang, I needed to go. She pulled me into a hug, so I gave her a nice tight one before we parted. But we didnt part. she turned me around and wrapped her arms around my neck, at first I thought she was joking I know silly me right. I tried tapping out, but that didnt work. My vision slowly drifted away, I couldnt breathe, I came back shortly after and pushed her off of me. I couldnt get away my body was so weak. I then knew she was trying to kill me. She pulled me to the floor and stabbed me in the eye. Which I did not feel, or know that happned. She then Slashed my neck, which I did feel. A grabbed the scissors with all the force I could possibly use, And screamed as loud as possible, that did nothing and she was quick to cover my mouth. She began to bite my arms as an attempt to make me let go of the scissors, I tried to think of any possible reason she would be doing this. Then I remembered my bestfriend, HIM. I pulled her hand off of my mouth, and told her I would leave him alone. She then stopped and told me that she will call the cops and that she will do her time BUT if I continued to keep my bestfriend in my life she will unt me down and she will kill me. She also told me to tell the cops her reasoning of doing what she did was because of voices. I was rushed to the hospital shortly after, my body was numb, and all I wanted was to cry. I was alone for sometime until my mom and aunt arived, all I could talk about was how scared I was and How much it hurt and repeating that girls name. I then was brought to the fact that I had PTSD, I couldnt do anything alone, and I didnt want to be alone. I had to do school at home, and I started getting weird messages from people who where in kahoots with her. They messed with my bestfriend, and his family and made me seem like a terrible person. I barely saw any of my friends,People made fun of what was done to me, articles played telephone with false statements, I was back to such a lonely state. The darkness I once felt, came back. Its hard, but im slowly getting better. Physically im amazing, mentally is still a challenge.
I know this wasnt some perfect essay, but I gave up because it was hard for me to write,
Everyone goes through their own things, but it doesnt help with mental disorders. I want my story to be out there. for us to be there for each other.
Tias racket
is me being loud and obnoxious, because im spreading the word about something so important to me, something I and many people struggle with. I hope to hold an event real soon, to gather any one who'd like to come, and people who struggle with these issues and spread the word. Its gonna be a very happy event, that I hope happens real soon. Any help would be wonderful.
If youve read this whole thing, hello, congrats, thank you.
I'll continue to write. I'll keep you posted on any type of event happening,
cause a racket.
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